If we take the time to ask ourselves what a balanced life looks like, we'll find the answer. Or we'll at least be shown what is not in balance so we can start there! I lived a large part of my life out of balance. As a mother, daughter, wife, many times I let my needs go to take care of others. Later when the boys left home I let my job consume my life, letting go of the things I knew were good for me because I was 'too tired'. First went the exercise, then my eating got off track, I stopped meditating, stopped socializing and having fun and isolated myself.

It was a cycle of overwhelm, then frustration, then isolation, leading to depression. Now that's a life really out of balance, I wasn't taking care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually! It was a huge wake-up call to me that I needed to make some major lifestyle changes if I wanted a fulfilling life, and for that I am truly grateful.As I was recovering from my depression, I started taking care of my body, mind and spirit. As I started leading a more balanced life, I was amazed at the overlap- how when I do something for my physical self for instance, it benefits me in the other areas. Running for example is an exercise for my physical body that has ripple effects mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well. Running down a trail and seeing a deer or the sunset is spiritual, filling my heart with gratitude, emotionally I sometimes start out feeling upset about something, then find my mind clears as I run through the situation and come to understanding, mentally I often work out my agenda for the week, or what my newsletter article will be on or other business items.

What I eat affects me physically, mentally and emotionally, which in turn affects me spiritually. What I think creates my emotions which in turn create my actions and results. A good reminder if I am to be healthy in all ways, I need to take care of all parts of me. Are you paying attention to all parts of your life? Is there an area that needs improvement- career, finances, recreation/fun, family, relationships, personal/spiritual development, environment, physical health or? If not, congratulations! If so, take a look at where you're at, what you could do to improve your situation and go for it! Change doesn't have to be big. Do one thing to improve one area of your life and you create more balance? Enjoy the life we are meant to live, a life of prosperity and abundance in all areas! Cheers to you!.

One of the negative reactions concerns using powerful and emotive words that can make even the most insignificant of events a major problem. Words can and do have that much power and in this article, I'm going to show you how this works with three of the worst words you can use to assign meanings to events. They are:

Nothing, everything and never.

For example, let's say your relationship with your spouse breaks down. Here's how using the above words can trigger stress, depression or anxiety:

"Well that's it. EVERYTHING has gone wrong in my life.

I'm NOTHING without him/her and I know I'll NEVER be happy ever again."

Can you see how flawed this highly emotive reaction is and can you see how these words ? seemingly innocuous by themselves ? have made one event a major, stressful episode by assigning a catastrophic meaning to your whole life?

To avoid arousing such fearful emotions, here are three better, much less emotive words you can use to lower the intensity:

For everything, use ONLY. For Never, use TEMPORARY. For nothing, use SOME.

So let's use these words to find a less intense meaning to the event in our example, the breakdown of an intimate relationship:

"OK, my relationship is over, but it ONLY affects my love life. SOME things will change but other areas of my life ? my work, my friendships, my hobbies and my social life will carry on as normally as possible. I'm hurting now, but this is TEMPORARY and things will get better in due course."

Can you see how using different words can dramatically reduce the impact and make much clearer sense of the event? This is exactly why some people never enter into a stressful, depressive or anxious episode even when they are faced with the most trying of circumstances, such as relationship breakdown.

Everything, nothing and never are just three of the emotive words used by sufferers.

There are many more ? including expletives that are far too strong to use here ? but if you use the three alternatives I've given in this article, you will drastically reduce the chances of entering into an episode of stress, depression and anxiety.

Be aware of the words you use to assign meanings ? mind your language!

See you soon.
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This article is not primarily about the signs and symptoms of anorexia. It's purpose is to help the reader discover what lies behind the eating disorder called anorexia nervosa. First of all, we need to understand how low self-esteem and anorexia are related.The Link Between Low Self-esteem and AnorexiaA sense of low self-esteem can be caused through inadequate nurturing as a result of emotional, physical or sexual abuse as a child. Abuse is when a person uses their power or position to force another person to perform in order to meet their needs. Emotional abuse is the subtlest form of abuse.

Most of us at some time or other, whether to a greater or lesser degree, have been victims of emotional abuse. It could come from anyone who has a position of authority who requires you to perform in order to have his or her needs met. Tania was a victim of emotional abuse. Her self-rejection grew as her parents were not able to meet her emotional needs even though she lacked nothing materially. Emotional abuse usually begins as a generational problem.

Tania's parents did not know how to meet her needs as they themselves had unmet needs. They were what we call an 'adult child', searching for someone to nurture them and fulfil their needs. Tania sensed these needs and subconsciously sought to fulfil them by 'being there' for her parents. As opposed to the adults 'being there' to meet her emotional needs! Tania listened as her parents shared their challenges but neither of them were able to spend quality time with her to allow her to open up and share her concerns. Tania had a false sense of security because she felt needed, but lacked someone to care for her own needs.

This left her feeling abandoned and abused because she was not being affirmed. As Tania did not have her own emotional needs met she was left with feelings of low self-worth, emptiness, loneliness, self-hate and depression. To compensate for her feelings of low self-worth she grew up putting more emphasis on 'doing' rather than being'. This set the scene for Tania to become anorexic!Can you relate to Tania in some way? Do you feel empty inside wishing someone would meet your inner needs? Keep reading and you will discover how you can become all you can be.Low Self-Esteem Is the Root of All Addictions- Including Anorexia NervosaIt has been said that addictions are an attempt to hide the real ?me' from the outside world. Addictions can come in many forms to help you feel better, change your mood and avoid painful feelings.

In an attempt to avoid pain one can subtly be led into deception, lies and denial. Anorexia Nervosa was Tania's way of changing her perception of herself ? her intense, irrational fear of being fat kept her in a cycle of deception and control. Let's look at how this cycle works.Low Self-Esteem Produces A Game of ControlThose with low self-worth often convey a sense of control. To avoid others seeing the real person, and in fear of falling victim again, they may either control others by being assertive, or control themselves by being non-assertive. Tania's mother's commented to me that from her perspective she felt Tania used her eating disorder to control and manipulate her.

It was like Tania was, consciously or subconsciously, trying to control both herself and her mother.The Non-assertive Approach of ControlThe person with a non-assertive approach sees self-worth as being based on what people think about himself/herself: it is important at any cost to gain the approval of others. Sufferers of anorexia go to extreme lengths to achieve their goal of acceptance. It is important to note that in endeavouring to deal with low self-worth, a person can swing from being non-assertive to assertive, or visa versa. One can start out as an assertive achiever, as we will discuss in the next section, and swing to become a non-assertive, non-achiever or "loser". The non-assertive approach produces a cycle, which begins with denial and a desire to please because of fear of rejection.

These people become resentful and angry with themselves and others when their goal is not achieved, which leads to depression and increased feelings of rejection of self or others. Then in order to feel better about themselves, they begin the cycle of control again. The Assertive Approach of ControlThe person with an assertive approach strives to feel good about himself/herself by meeting certain standards. Feelings of never doing well enough or being good enough can create a fear of failure, which results in both a drive for perfectionism and control of self and others. Life becomes a problem to be solved for anorexia nervosa sufferers.

They are constantly caught up in ?doing' rather than ?being' content, restful and enjoying life. If you have feelings of never doing well enough or being good enough you will know what I mean!The perfectionist has inflexible rules on how people should act or think. Deep down, it is felt that self-value is only obtained through achievement; therefore new challenges or other people's opinions are threatening, as the perfectionist feels that mistakes are to be avoided at any cost to prevent shame. The assertive approach also produces a cycle, which begins with denial and a desire to control self and others through fear of failure. To achieve this goal the assertive person is legalistic and critical of self and others.

These people become defensive and angry when their goal is not achieved, which leads to feelings of loneliness and depression. To feel better about themselves they begin the cycle of control again to achieve their goal. Life becomes a game of control! How do we get out of this cycle we get ourselves into through low self-worth? For all who struggle with low self-esteem, I invite you to visit our website (www.ydyc.org) and see a cartoon presentation that will give you hope and freedom from the cycle of deception and control. It will help you make a fresh start and become all you can be. As a trained nurse I strongly recommend that you seek professional help if you are suffering from anorexia nervosa..

One of the most popular aerobic exercises is walking. It is simple, effective and can be done inside or outside.

Participating in a daily aerobic exercise program provides many advantages. One of the primary benefits of regular exercise is how it can help reduce your risk for many diseases and conditions.

Aerobic exercise can reduce your risk of the following:

*HEART DISEASE: The number one benefit of a regular exercise regimen is reducing your risk of heart disease. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for men and women in the United States.

*STROKE: Exercise reduces your chances of having a stroke by decreasing the build-up of plaque in your arteries. Plaque build-up in blood vessels is the cause of strokes.

*CANCER: Exercise reduces your risk of developing certain types of cancer such as prostate, colon, and breast.

*HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE: If you have high blood pressure, it can be lowered naturally by regular exercise.

*DIABETES: Aerobic exercise helps control your weight, decreasing your chances of being overweight, which in turn reduces your chances of developing diabetes.

*HIGH CHOLESTEROL: Regular aerobic exercise lowers your bad cholesterol and raises your good cholesterol.

*OSTEOPOROSIS: Weight-bearing aerobic exercises, like walking, can reduce your risk of osteoporosis and its complications by building strong bones.

*OSTEOARTHRITIS: Low-impact aerobic exercises, like swimming, bicycling, and water aerobics, can keep you fit without placing excessive strain on your joints. This contributes to healthy joints and reduces your risk of osteoarthritis.

*FIBROMYALGIA: Aerobic exercise encourages the growth of capillaries in your muscles.

This enables your body to more efficiently transport oxygen to your muscles and remove waste products.

Aerobic exercise can help:

*DEPRESSION: When you exercise, your brain releases a chemical called endorphins, easing the tension associated with anxiety, and the despondency of depression.

*INCREASE YOUR STAMINA: Aerobic exercise may cause you to feel tired during and immediately following the activity. However, the lasting effects will be increased stamina and reduction of fatigue.

*EXTEND YOUR LIFE: The many benefits of following a regular aerobic exercise regimen to your health and well-being will obviously contribute to longer, healthier life.

Regardless of your age, fitness level, or weight, you should begin an aerobic exercise program today. The benefits for you and your health far exceed any hesitations you may have or excuses you may use. .

Carolyn Hobbs has worked with thousands of people in individual and couples' therapy, workshops, and graduate courses. She has helped people to face depression and anxiety, handle chronic pain and life-threatening diseases, overcome addictions, cope with life transformations ? and still find their joy in the midst of whatever life throws their way.Hobbs offers brief essays on everyday situations and habits we all fall into ? mind, fear, feeling, and belief habits ? with information on what they truly are, and exercises that help us to change them."Joy, No Matter What" helps you to be the joy you want to see in the world.Carolyn Hobbs is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a member of the Association for Transpersonal Psychology and the Association for Humanistic Psychology. She has taught at Naropa Institute and Spirit Rock Meditation Center..

E.g. One may develop severe back pain another may develop headaches. As you can see, it is much more complicated than "all in the mind".

2. Another reaction is to say "What have you got to be so worried about? Many people throughout the world have it much worse than you do and they're happy." Now fair enough, when you look at the plight millions of people have to endure around the world, living in squalor and poverty, then yes, they do have a terrible time. So do people who suffer severe illness and disability.

But this just won't have any bearing on how a sufferer feels at all. In my own case, when people said this to me it meant nothing because I couldn't change their circumstances and I was struggling to solve my own problems. I couldn't care about anyone else. This is a symptom of depression. A sufferer will turn inwards and disconnect from society.

They need help to solve their problems. Pointing out that others have it worse will not help in any way.

3. Non sufferers find it very hard to accept depression, anxiety and stress as real problems. Many will say "Oh, you've just got the blues. Don't worry, they'll soon go away." Of course, there will be times in all of our lives when things don't run smoothly, when things go awry, when the weather is awful, when friends let you down, when you just feel a bit sad.

We call these "the blues" and we know that the blues will eventually lift. There is a big difference between "the blues" and stressful, depressive or anxious episodes. Sufferers firmly believe their torment will never end and they cannot see a positive outcome to any problem. Add these feelings to the physical symptoms and you can see that "the blues" is vastly different.

4. Self-deprecation is typical of these problems.

Sufferers will put themselves down at every opportunity. They'll do it when they're alone and they'll do it when they're in the company of others. E.g. "No, you go ahead. I won't bother because I'll just get it wrong like everything else I do." When you hear this, avoid the urge to challenge it or reprimand.

Instead, gently and subtly remind them of a time when something went well. Just say "Hey, do you remember that time when you?" Challenging or reprimanding will only arouse resentment and they'll just think you're against them. This is a very subtle way of reminding the sufferer of a more positive event.

5. Frustration is also common amongst people who cannot understand what their loved one is going through. And it can soon give way to anger and resentment as patience wears thin.

Criticism begins. "You've always been negative. The glass is always half empty with you. All you've ever done is look on the downside. You want to stop feeling sorry for yourself and pull yourself together." Whilst I can understand the frustration, this kind of approach will only have 2 outcomes: Your loved one will resent you so much they will start avoiding you and their torment will deepen.

As frustrating as it is, please resist this. Give them space. Reassure them you're there for them no matter what. If your frustration is getting the better of you, take a time out to gather your thoughts by going for a walk. Yes it's hard but the alternative is to make things harder.

I know it's so difficult to reach loved ones and I know it's so hard to understand what's happening.

This article will help you and your loved one to deal more effectively with the torment.

Until next time.
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Both of these are common responses that can have dangerous or fatal results.When using drugs or alcohol while suffering a manic or depressive episode, you may temporarily feel better or at least feel like you are "numbing" yourself, but this is only an illusion. In reality you are blurring your sense of reality even further and inhibiting your ability to react properly to the world around even more. Your judgment is severely damaged. Combine this with the lack of common sense found in mania or the sorrow and lack of self-preservation found in depression and you have a recipe for disaster.In fact, many people who have bipolar disorder aren't diagnosed for years because they are too busy self-medicating with alcohol or drugs and don't seek medical advice. In the meantime, since they aren't being properly regulated, their manic phases aren't being controlled.

They are medicating themselves with booze and pills and still going into episodes of wild spending, promiscuous sexual activity and bizarre, risky behavior. They may lose spouses, friends, jobs and their life savings.People who are depressed and bipolar will self-medicate to keep the depression at bay, but this actually only pushes the depression back temporarily. When it returns it can feel even worse, and will sometimes result in a suicide attempt or, in some instances, a successful suicide.Obviously, self-medicating with drugs and/or alcohol doesn't work. It doesn't get rid of the symptoms of bipolar disorder, and in many cases they actually make the characteristics of an episode much worse, causing the extremes to be more violent or explosive.If you don't believe this, take a look at some examples of individuals who were not properly medicated who ended up in extremely bad situations. Some actual stories can be found at http://www.leverageteamllc.com/bipolarnews19/ .

These include one where a woman in Palm Desert, CA ran over a man she referred to as, "road kill," during a manic episode. In other stories, two unrelated shootings (one in Portland, ME and the other in Philadelphia, PA) were both tied to bipolar sufferers who weren't properly medicated.Please don't take your situation into your own hands - you'll be gambling with your own life and the life of others. Self medicating isn't the answer. A licensed, professional doctor's supervision and prescription medication is the only way to adequately control bipolar disorder effectively..

If youare always cooped up in your room (with the curtainsclosed), it would be difficult to restrain yourselffrom staying in bed.This is the reason why many people are suffering fromdepression much more often in winter than in the otherseasons. It's because the nights are longer.If you can't afford to get some sunshine, you canalways lighten up your room with brighter lights.Have lunch outside the office. Take frequent walksinstead of driving your car over short distances.2) Get Busy. Get Inspired.You'll be more likely to overcome any feeling ofdepression if you are too busy to notice it. Livea life full of inspired activities.Do the things you love.

If you're a little shorton cash, you could engage in simple stuffs liketaking a leisurely stroll in the park, playingsports, reading books, or engaging in any activitythat you have passion for and would love to pursue.Set a goal - a meaningful purpose in life. Nomatter how difficult or discouraging life can be,remain firm and have an unshakable belief that youare capable of doing anything you desire. Withthis kind of positive attitude, you will attaina cheerful disposition to beat the blues. 3) Take a Break.I mean it. Listen to soothing music.

Soak in a nice warmbath. Ask one of your close friends to massageyou. Take a break from your stressful workloadand spend the day just goofing around. In otherwords, have fun.4) Eat Right and Stay Fit.Avoid foods with lots of sugar, caffeine, oralcohol. Sugar and caffeine may give you abrief moment of energy; but they would laterbring about anxiety , tension, and internalproblems.

Alcohol is a depressant. Many peoplewould drink alcohol to "forget their problems."They're just aggravating their conditions in theprocess. Exercising regularly is a vital depression busterbecause it allows your body to produce moreendorphins than usual. Endorphins are sometimescalled "the happy chemicals" because of theirstress-reducing and happiness-inducing properties. 5) Get a Social Life.No man is an island.

Your circle of friends arethere to give you moral support. Spending timeand engaging in worthwhile activities with them could give you a very satisfying feeling. Nothingfeels better than having group support.Never underestimate the power of touch. Doesn'tit feel so good when someone pats you on the backand gives you words of encouragement during yourmost challenging times? Hug or embrace someonetoday. You'll never know when you have saved another life.Get intimate.

Establish close ties with yourfamily and friends. The love and care expressedby others could tremendously boost your immunesystem and fend off illnesses. Best of all, you'lllive a more secured and happy life..

Getting high also impairs judgment, leading to risky decision making on issues like sex, criminal activity or riding with someone who is driving high.If you believe that your child may be using alcohol or drugs, don't overreact. Some of the warning signs listed above may be normal for your teen and some signs may have other causes. One cannot ignore the reality of teenage drug and alcohol abuse, however, so the presence of three or more of these warning signs should prompt a discussion with your teen and an evaluation of whether professional help is needed. For more advice, or to locate the right treatment facility for you, contact your pediatrician or call the Center for Substance Abuse Referral Help line at 1-800-662-HELP..

are you ready for a change? And, if the answer is "yes," the second question is... how ready are you?You have your own pace. I respect that in you. I hope you do too. Too many folks know they need to make a change and beat themselves up because they are not on the schedule they feel they "should" be on.

You're on the schedule you're on.The "New Year" provides symbolism for "clearing out the old" and "bringing in the new." In that capacity alone, it is a golden opportunity for a fair review of your life. But, if there's one thing I'd wish for you it would be that this year you take your learning to a new level. A year is too long to wait to complete a personal inventory. Several of you will have a few too many drinks on New Years Eve to really be serious about personal change.And life truly is too short. Do you only clean your house once each year? I suggest you utilize the symbolism of the New Year to evaluate your life every 3-6 months.Cleaning yourself out, making yourself new is a wonderful gift to give yourself and those around you.

Don't you think?GUIDELINES TO KNOW IF IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE:1. Are you ready to make a change?2. On a scale of 1-10, ten being powerful desire, how ready are you? If you are at 7 or above you're ready to begin on your goal. If you're a 6 or below, ask yourself, "What needs to occur for my passion to rise above 7?"3. Why are you considering making this change?4.

Do you feel an increased level of energy when thinking about this goal?5. Have you considered what tools/resources you will need to accomplish this goal?6. Can you see what your life looks like once you've accomplished your goal?7. Are you ready to make your goal known to family, friends, God... for support and accountability?8.

Have you written your goal down in explicit detail?9. Have you set a start-time and an end-date for the goal in mind?10. Do you have a heartfelt commitment towards this goal?11. Is this goal in alignment with the what's in your best interest, and the best interest of those around you?12. Are you willing to do "the work" it will take to accomplish this goal?There you have it! A twelve-step guide for discerning personal transformation.

Print it out and keep it handy throughout your new year and beyond. If the questions fed an already burning fire inside you towards that next change in your life, that's fantastic. I look forward to hearing of your success.If the questions assisted you in knowing that now is not quite the right time to move on a new goal, then I wish you patience, gentleness and self-acceptance in the new year..